50 Plus Wisdom

Being securely past the first 50 years, I’m reflecting on those more essential aspects of life. Being this age has taught me so much about how what I chased during that time was the wrong focus. Instead, I should have been chasing peace. Of course, hindsight is 20/20; however, the idea is still relevant. I was pursuing a career, marriage, money, kids, titles, material things, etc.  I guess it takes working with terrible people and in relationships that mean you no good to appreciate peace.  What it comes down to essentially is quality of life and peace.

The nonsense occurring across the country related to politics, opinions, hatred, and ignorance has shown me that all this effort to reach a retirement that may never happen was not worth the return on investment. The true ROI was family. I’m guilty of pursuing titles and positions to climb higher and higher. Last year, leadership finally took its toll on me. Something I had excelled at for so many years has become a burden, shifting my focus from work and materials to health and mental wellness.  My family, especially those I have lost, has helped me understand the importance of peace and enjoying the remainder of my life. It doesn’t help when your health takes a turn.

Loss will help you appreciate the life you live. I should have learned this lesson when I lost my sister, Tonya, some time ago. The book You Were There was dedicated to her and the life she helped me develop. I hit a low point after losing my wife and child, and she made me stronger. I miss her laughter, and losing her took a part of me. I think about her often because much of my career was her idea. After losing her in a car accident, it made me focus on adrenaline rushes. She was my friend, and I miss her.

My grandfather has been an instrumental part of my life. He was a creature of habit and provided many lessons on what a man should do and be. While he wasn't perfect, his lessons were pertinent to my development, such as "Keep what you need" or "Don't fatten no frog to feed no snakes." Those statements embody only spending what you need and keeping what you need or not giving people a reason to bury you. He was my friend. We lost him to cancer, and I miss him.

If anyone knows me, then they know Jen Jen. We met during that period of exploration and discovery—you know, when figuring out what kind of person you want to be. She was right there with me and helped raise my son. We helped raise one another. I could not have done it without her. It's weird to speak with someone daily, and then it's over. She shouldn't be gone, but I understand why. I miss my friend, who we lost to cancer way too soon.

Now, I live in peace. I have found all the damaged relationships I had that meant something and repaired those, especially when my health changed. I found my best friend, who helped me restore my body and mind's weakness. Felicia and I united as children and helped each other navigate at very significant times of our lives. I was thankful that she caught me falling. She typically did that whether she realized it or not. At this age, we are experiencing loss, as many people do at this age. All of our friends and family are losing people they love deeply. She is my best friend, and I need her.

I now appreciate my family, including friends, wayward grandkids, kids, and adopted family :). They are more important than any job, car, etc. At the end of all of this, I will be a footnote in the lives of many or a simple period in an interesting life. It doesn't matter how smart I am, cute, handsome, rich, or with multiple women. What matters is that I stand with my friends and family to ensure we are at peace and can navigate this world of deception, falsehoods, greed, manipulation, and more with peace and love.

"The rush of the first half is over; now, in the gentle current of the second, peace is not something to be chased, but a quiet harbor to finally enter."