Touched Out

  I am so obsessed with the new generation of motherhood. Thirty-one years ago when I was pregnant with my first child we had two ways to get advice as a new parent. We could ask other parents or the What to expect series books.  I purchased What to Expect When Expecting from Meijer as soon as I knew I was pregnant. Nothing prepared me for what happened to me after I gave birth.  I thought that my body was done when the baby emerged from the womb.  I was so wrong.  After ten months of growing a human, the body is devastated.  I was young, uneducated, and stubborn. I was unaware of postpartum depression or my body needing to heal.  I just learned about being “touched out” at fifty years old!

       Sensory overload or feeling "touched out." This can happen when someone, often a new parent, becomes overwhelmed by constant physical contact and sensory input from taking care of a baby and interacting with family members. Feeling "touched out" is quite common and doesn't mean you don't love your family. It just means your senses are overstimulated, and you need some personal space to recharge. Taking breaks, setting boundaries, and finding time for self-care can help manage.

      I recall being 24 years old with three children under five years old.  I had divorced two husbands and made the decision to be a single mother. Anyone who has been in a room with a child can predict where this story goes. At any given time, there was a child on my hip, a child in my arms and a child running around my legs.  I believe in co-sleeping. That means that in my sleep, I had a child on my chest and a child under each arm. When I cooked, I had children surrounding me. I even had children around me in the bathroom.  I was overwhelmed and exhausted. In my mind, if I told someone that I had bitten off more than I could chew in my entire life, I would be seen as a terrible mother. I could not call my mother.  She had already called CPS on me because my daughter had a diaper rash. My mom and stepdad attempted to  have my children removed from my custody multiple times, unsuccessfully.  I chose to suck it up.

      Parents today have social media, Google, and a variety of books to guide them.  They also have mothers who have suffered and refuse to allow their daughters to face the same turmoil we endured.         

  Social media outlets namely Tik Tok offers a platform for people raising children to get advice and share their experiences with others going through the same journey. The outlets provide community support to people alone in parenting, new to it, or even seasoned grandparents looking for an easier way.

   As a grandmother helping raise my daughter’s child(ren) I am learning so many things about my own pregnancies thirty years ago.  I had no idea there was a term for wanting all of the people in the house to go to another room and stop touching and talking to me.  There were no people telling me to give the teething baby celery. I love that there is advice available for every random question and concern I can conjure.  These new kids have got it made.  And it makes me smile to know that when my grandbabies are driving my daughter crazy she now has a cute term for stop touching me! I can’t wait for my baby to be touched out by her babies.  That’s what motherhood is about. Right?